August Tuesday

Things got off to a flying start today when there was a major wreck on I-twelve west bound that is still making traffic horrible after 10am and you can bet that the excessive heat warning that we got today is being matched in all the cars stuck in the traffic jam caused by two big trucks. The temp today is to be 102 and the heat index is to be 117. How's that for the dog days of summer? Our Scotties are staying inside where it is cool and they only go out the Scottie door to just give a minimum barking performance. I think they have the right idea; best be careful in this heat.

There is another country song in which the lyrics have been helpful in maintaining my mental gyroscope.
The chorus goes like this:
Let it rain Let it snow
Let the cold north winds blow
Just as long as you love me.

This chorus makes a fundamental statement about life; regardless of the good time, we are all going to have times when it rains and snows and the cold winds blow. And that kind of weather change can knock us down and spin us around. It can turn out to be downright unpleasant; hard to take even. But it can go a lot better for us if we have someone to just as long as you love me. Love really helps and it can often make a big positive difference. Life will find a way to use us and abuse us, but we can take it and make it just as long as you love me.

The second part of the chorus is this:
North or south,
East or west,
You help me stand the test,
Just as long as you love me.

What happens to us in life is hard to control. We can make the best choices we can and still have fate fall all over us and take us to a place we did not wish to go. But we get there and there can be a real test. And there are the yous in our lives that can really help us stand the test that the winds of outrageous fortune send our way. There is magic in that line; you help me stand the test. I attempt to be that for those I love and they make that same effort for me. And when the double twins of depression and despair are pounding on you, that you who helps you stand the test makes all the difference. And the love given in that standing of the test is what gives us our passing test. The test can be endured and passes if we are fortunate enough to have those some ones; those yous who help us stand the test. I daily give thanks for those yous who help with the test I am attempting to stand. Here's to standing the test, and thanks to all of those who attempt to be the you who help someone stand their test.

There is another song that has something to say about all this and it comes from the Muppets. In fact, it comes from a song sung by Kermit the frog. I bet you know the one I'm thinking about.

Kermit sings about what it is like to be a frog and a green one at that:
It isn’t easy being green; Having to spend each day the color of leaves, when I think it could be nicer being red, yellow or gold. Something much more colorful like that. It’s not easy being green; it seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things. And people tend to pass you over because you are not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water or stars in the sky. But green is the color of spring; green can be cool and friendly like and green can be big like an ocean or important like a mountain or tall like a tree. When green is all there is to be it can make you wonder why. But why wonder. Why wonder. I'm green and it will do fine; And I think it is what I want to be.

Kermit is struggling with what all of us struggle with sometimes. Kermit is saying that sometimes it isn’t easy being me; it isn’t easy being a green frog when there are many other flashy things to be. It is so ordinary being green and everyone knows that frogs simply can't pass as pretty; in fact, they can often seem droopy and ugly. Kermit is saying that it is simply hard, at times, to be Kermit. It just isn’t easy being me.

It isn’t easy being divorced after you’ve been married for what seems a lifetime; it isn’t easy being the parents who discover their son in his backyard after taking his life; it isn’t easy being parents who watch and worry as a child gives his life and energy to drugs; it isn’t easy being blind; it isn’t easy being a caretaker; it isn’t easy having cancer and worrying about it. For all of us there are simply those times when we say it isn’t easy being me. We would like to be golden, flashy, confident, chosen, and tranquil. Yet we know, like Kermit that being green is sometimes necessary. Kermit is engaged in a real struggle; there is no Pollyanna answer here; he has to work at it. And he says being green can be cool; it can be important like an ocean or tall like a tree.

So why wonder if you are green; why wonder. I am green; and I think that is what I want to be. Kermit finds a way to accept being green; it is not an easy acceptance but he wants to stop wondering why. Why wonder; I'm green and I think that is what I want to be. We can get trapped in our own version of greenness, just like Kermit. And like Kermit we must find a way to be who we are, to accept our version of being green.

WE too have to say, why wonder; why wonder. I'm green and I think that is what I want to be. How do we pass the green test? When the cold north winds blow, how do we make it. Just as long as you love me, that is how. North or south, east or west, you help me stand the test, just as long as you love me.

I have found a trinity that helps me stand the test. I call it the trinity of the faith, family and friends. The love that is possible in this trinity helps all of us stand the test that life will throw at us. The first f is the love found in faith. All of us need moments of illumination, some highlights in our Christian life. We can get a reminder of the church that sustains us in our pilgrimage through life. We are a branch springing from the vine upon which we depend, from which we derive our power to be open to the nourishment of faith and the love in that faith. When Jesus tells us that he is the vine and we are the branches, he is telling us that we are not isolated beings adrift in a stormy world, each of us trying to find some passing gust of grace, some spiritual jet stream, as we try to keep our faith alive. We are not like the leaves of autumn being snatched from the tree to be blown in all kinds of directions. We are members of the great family of Christ, in that great company of his church in heaven and in earth deriving our strength of body, mind and spirit from his grace right to the end of time. Why wonder; why wonder.

Family is the second f in the trinity. The love that is given in caretaking an old blind man is truly wonderful. When things get a little rough then a call comes from Eleanor or Kathryn, just checking in to see what condition our condition is in. A touch on the shoulder, an encouraging word, a shared moment of foolishness or tenderness helps to keep the demons away. I give thanks for a family that shares love with me so generously. That helps me stand the test of this blindness.

Friends are the third f of the trinity. I have friends that call, send "hang on snoopy" cards in the mail; come by and visit; call or write and seemingly just at the time when there is a low point. That friend, that gift of love from a friend helps me stand the test. I hope this kind of trinity is active in your life; I highly recommend it. Thanks to the you all group for being friends that listen and contact me. It helps me stand the test. Thank you for helping me stand.

July 31, 2010 - Hello to August

Today is the last day of July and it will end with a flame. The temp today is to be above one hundred and the heat index even higher; nothing like starting August with all the burners lit. I guess the advice for today is to stay calm. Hope we can do it. I have heard from a number of friends this week and it seems that most of them and myself have been dealing with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that goes along with simply being alive and making our attempts to live meaningfully in this process called life. I have found that for me a few lines from two country songs can help me get a grip when I feel that I am losing my grip. Here is the first that I enjoy. It is about trains and railroad crossings; we have much difficulty with them in this state.

When the gates are all down
And the lights are all flashing
And the whistle is blowing in vain;
If you stay on the tracks Ignoring the facts, then don’t blame the wreck on the train.

I have found that I am in a continuous process of moving from blind grief to blind faith; I have also noticed that I have needed to assign meanings to the individual letters in order to help myself through the bad or down days. I started with grief and the g stand for my making sure to grasp the reality of my situation. I am now blind and it seems that will be my lot until I reach the check out counter for this life. Grasp the reality of the situation is identified in the song lyrics above. If I ignore the facts of my situation by disregarding the gates being down, the lights all flashing and the whistle blowing in vain; then if I continue to not do what is necessary to live in my new reality, then I can’t blame what happens to my faith and attitude if I don’t get off the tracks.

I must live and cope with the world as a blind person and I must do that with all the ability that this seventy one year old man has left. To grieve for the past will only leave me embittered and being a pain to be around. I will simply not do that; I will get off the tracks and out of the way of the emotional train wreck that would be if I don’t grasp and live by the new reality of my life. I repeat those lyrics when I am feeling down and blue and admonish myself to get off the tracks and out of the way. It really helps me to do that.

I even have installed a three trumpet Union Pacific diesel road horn on the east side of my house and have the air compressor and indoor button so that I can blow the horn in order to remind me to get off the tracks and to get on with living. It is really a nice, loud horn and it works wonders for me. So here’s to all of us grasping the reality of our life situations and living them as best we can on a day-by-day basis. I also have another set of lyrics that I use and I will send them along in a later email. Hope that you all have a great weekend.