January 31, 2009

A lot of things have happened during the past days. Words and phrases have been flying around like there is no tomorrow for their use. Some of the words and phrases used need to be retired and I think a very impressive retirement ceremony for them would be greatly appreciated. Here are few words and phrases that I would like to hear no more.

The first in ENTITLED. I hear politicians and car dealers use this word so much that I just know that there are many things that have gotten away from me and I didn’t even get a chance at them. A new car, a new income earned from home with the lights off, a huge new house, a new body, fewer trips to the bathroom at night, body parts that can be repaired without a doctor’s help and all at little or no cost to me or anyone else. I have become so confused as to who I am and what I am supposed to have that I might have to ask for extra help in the interpretation of life. I think that we are entitled to retire ENTITLED and I now do so; ENTITLED is now officially retired and you are no longer entitled to use it. Be it now known that our plankton politicians are no longer entitled to use ENTITLE to entitle us to anything.

I have used the phrase plankton politicians because so many of them seem to have the IQ of plankton. Having said that, I now realize that I owe plankton an apology. I know that the plankton society will be offended in having their good name, essential in the ongoing of biological life, used in such a denigrating way—yet accurate. They will be sure to contact me about this abuse immediately and I now confess that they have indeed been slighted. Still, when you hear what passes for intelligent observations that are coming out of the mouths of our national leaders we would be better off if we have an organized plankton party to oppose them. I am sure that the plankton will be offended and then politicians won’t even know what I mean.

The next phrase is SLIPPERY SLOPE. This too is a phrase that has been used to strike slippery fear in our souls as the leadership crowd tells us that we are in danger of sliding down , down to into doom. I think that Slippery Rock University should seek a restraining order to prevent the use of their name in the political phrasing of Washington. I think they could claim patent infringement so that this insult can be stopped. If I hear some plankton senator use the slippery slope analogy or phrase one more time, I think I’ll call Slippery Slope University myself.

Let’s also retire YADA-YADA. I don’t know where this phrase came from, but everyone is using it like a verbal pause while they are attempting to think of something else to say or leave out. Well, you can leave out yada –yada and return to yackety yack. I suggest that we gather on the steps of the Capitol and have a very impressive retirement ceremony for these words and phrases. Life would be so much better without them.

TIP OF THE ICEBERG is another phrase that needs to be submerged beneath the surface of English language usage. We must also include the deck chairs of the Titanic that seem be in constant need of rearranging. I think the White Star Line should also seek an injunction to stop any further denigration of their name. I would think that the emphasis should be not on the iceberg but on the misaligned idea that the ship was unsinkable. It seems to me that the plankton senators are presenting their ideas as unsinkable and when they’re not sailing on the ship, that really frightens me and the rest of the country because we may be the ones they end up sinking.

I also think that the state of Texas has a reason to take the plankton politicos to court in order to prevent them from using two phrases that come from that state.

THERE YOU GO is the first phrase that Washington should be disabused from using. A Texan actually means to use that phrase in an affirmative manner and the planktons have no such intention. The planktons’ use of that phrase is merely a verbal distraction presented as an illusion to get you and me off track. Paying attention to your concerns and mine is often the furthest thing from their mind.

The final Texas phrase for the blog and rant is I HEAR THAT. The deafness of political planktons only seems to b e diminished when their pockets, their family, their friends, or their party is asking to be heard. Being tone deaf to the chords produced by the electorate too often seems to be standard equipment with too many political offices and too many politicians. Next time I will look at the proposition that it may be that the time of statesmanship has fled and that the time of universal carpetbaggers has returned.

I will end this for today and see if I can recover from this blind battle with technology. I hope that the world treats you with kindness until I bang out some more nonsense on these keys. Take care of yourselves.